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**Spoilers Ahead**
Are you in a super engaged group chat about Love is Blind Season 6, pointing out every red flag and ick along the way? Guilty. Are you watching the season with your partner and saying things like, “see how annoying it is when you’re on your phone?” Guilty (well…guilty that I heard that statement from my partner).
For those who don’t know, Netflix’s Love is Blind is “a social experiment where single men and women look for love and get engaged, all before meeting in person.” As a reality tv fan and a healthy relationship fan, I soak up every second of this show. Watching episodes 7-9 this weekend really got me thinking…
Sure, these fascinating, and often cringy, couples are in a uniquely strange situation, but I think there’s plenty of takeaways we can find hidden in the madness. Before I break down some of these, let me just say that I don’t particularly like most of these people and I hope they all find a good therapist (BTW, Clay, being on this show does not count as therapy!). Let’s break down some highlights.
*The End of the Honeymoon. While these couples have an actual honeymoon-like vacation the first week they are together, we all go through those early stages of a relationship that feel so special. We wish we could stay in that bubble forever, but we can’t. When these couples go back to ‘the real world’, and move in together right away (!), it gets real. Chelsea & Jimmy exemplify the difficulty of adding work to the relationship mix. Jimmy is working from home but that doesn’t mean he can be as attentive as Chelsea needs (in this case, a minimum of receiving a kiss once an hour). Couples need to figure out how to set boundaries, especially when working from home together. Set rules for each other from the beginning: have a morning discussion about how busy your days are to set expectations. Schedule a lunch together once a week with the understanding that the other days you can’t do that. Whatever works for you – but talk about it!
*Laura’s Ghosts of Boyfriends Past. We all have history; no doubt that past relationships impact how we view new relationships. What’s so interesting about LIB is how much these people talk about their past in the pods but once they’re home, new partners see the past-relationship ghosts come haunt them. Laura thought a comment about another contestant was going into Jeramy’s vault (Seinfeld references, anyone?), but alas, he jokingly shared it out to others and Laura freaked. She talked about this ‘trigger’ of past partners throwing her under the bus. Yes, she told Jeramy about this in the pods, but he didn’t consider it in this actual situation. Knowing what embarrasses your partner, what they’ve experienced in the past that influences that, and how you can help make them feel safe in this new relationship, is so important.
*Chelsea’s Cheaters. Dare I say, this was a fleeting, almost green flag moment in a relationship full of mess (I suspect there’s some major trust situations coming up with the return of Jessica in the next episodes). Chelsea talked about being cheated on in past relationships with her partner’s female friends. She was open and said she trusts Jimmy and these nice gals she meets. Way to communicate, Chels, momentarily.
*Jeramy and the DMs…and the Location Sharing. There’s a lot to break down here but let’s just say that Laura does not trust Jeramy (to be clear, neither partner is really right in this situation, as is the case with most of these relationships). Everyone has their social media boundaries they need to set with their partner but clearly, if you are hanging onto a no-written-response-just-a-double-tap-aka-‘hearting’-a-comment and can’t let it go, you have to step back and consider if this guy is giving you bad vibes. In Laura’s case, maybe consider if you truly understood the premise of LIB and whether it was right for you, but that’s beside the point. For some people, location sharing is an ick. For others, it’s fun. Don’t let anyone force you to share your location with them! If it feels safe to you both, cool. If it feels a little creepy, trust your gut. Pro tip: don’t randomly location share for the first time at 4am when you’re out with a girl you had feelings for a week ago.
Before I end my first musings about this wild show, let’s pour some Love is Wine out for a couple that bit the dust this week: Brittany and Kenneth. I had high hopes for them; their alignment on religion felt pure and sweet. They're a reminder that aligning on one important factor doesn’t mean that the relationship will work. Schedules, a complete inability to work on the relationship at all (lol), and phone use, proved to be too much for them.
The countdown to Wednesday’s next episode drop is on and I can’t wait for the drama and relationship takeaways. I’ll be sharing more next week!
Author: Jordyn is the Director of Community Education for SHALVA. Her favorite reality show is Survivor.
