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In our kitchen my husband and I have hung two posters: one of matzo ball soup and one of pizza. This perfectly exemplifies our interfaith and cross-cultural marriage. I grew up as a reform Jew and my husband grew up Catholic. With interfaith/multifaith relationships becoming more and more common, couples like us face tons of questions. Seven Circles helps all couples (interfaith or otherwise) explore the topic of religion, but I know one questions we ask in our 6th circle of content really sticks with me, personally:
True or false: I am interested in creating new/unique traditions and rituals with you based on values we both share.
For me: True.
I care deeply about my Jewish roots and the most important thing to me are the holidays, including my favorite which is right around the corner. I have such vivid childhood memories of Passover Seders. I was responsible for chopping the apples for our charoset and as the youngest, I always read the 4 questions which made me excited-nervous (IYKYK).
My husband, on the other hand, has vivid memories of another holiday coming up: Easter. The Easter egg hunts and big-brimmed hats at church (again, IYKYK).
Everyone’s perspective about religion is different. For us, considering how we merge traditions for our future family was key to feeling comfortable getting married. Here’s some conversations we had to help get to a place where we both felt comfortable:
-Our favorite religion-related memories growing up.
-Our favorite holiday and why.
-What feels like a ‘must do’ for us related to our religion.
-What religion means to us.
-What core values are most important to us, religious or otherwise.
-How will we answer questions from family about our choices related to religion.
Start small – take just one question to your next date night and see where your conversation leads!
Author: Jordyn Scorpio is the Director of Community Education. She's a big fan of matzo brei.
